Faith in the Valleys: How Couples Can Grow Spiritually Through Hard Times

Date Nights Every Weekend

No couple enters marriage expecting to camp out in a valley. We dream of mountaintops like the wedding day, the first home, answered prayers, and laughter-filled holidays. But anyone who’s been married for more than five minutes knows that valleys come. Illness, job loss, financial strain, betrayal, infertility, parenting struggles, spiritual dryness… They’re not just possible,--they’re inevitable.

The good news? God does some of His deepest work in the valleys.

1. Valleys Expose What’s Underneath

Hard times have a way of stripping away the surface-level things we lean on. In seasons of suffering, we find out what we really believe, about God, about our spouse, and about ourselves. That can feel scary. But it’s also an invitation.

The valley is where God reveals idols, unspoken expectations, buried wounds, and untapped strength. Couples who embrace this refining instead of running from it often come out with a stronger, more authentic faith - together.

“Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials… because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2–3

2. The Valley Is a Place to Practice Spiritual Intimacy

In the stress of hardship, many couples stop praying together. But it’s in those moments we need shared prayer the most. When you don't have the answers, praying side-by-side before the God who does is an act of spiritual warfare.

You don’t need polished words - just honest hearts. Some of the most powerful prayers are simple and raw:“Lord, help us hold on.”“Give us peace.”“Help us see what You’re doing, even when it hurts.”

Praying, reading Scripture, or even just listening to worship together builds unity. You may not feel like it—but lean in. Intimacy with God fuels intimacy with each other.

3. Suffering Can Build Oneness, Not Distance

The enemy loves to isolate people in the valley. He whispers, “They don’t understand you.” Or worse, “You’d be better off alone.”

Don’t take the bait.

Use hard times to turn toward your spouse, not away from them. Be honest about your fears. Validate each other’s pain. Mourn losses together. Even if you grieve differently, give space for that process while still choosing connection.

Remember: You’re not enemies—you’re allies. You’re not just surviving hardship—you’re navigating it hand-in-hand.

4. Testimonies Are Born in the Valleys

Your valley might feel dark now. But you won’t stay here forever. And when God brings you through, and He will, you’ll carry a story of grace and growth that others need to hear.

There’s power in telling others, “We’ve been there. God met us. And we’re stronger now because of it.”

That’s how legacies are built. Not just through picture-perfect marriages, but through faithful endurance in the trenches.

Final Thoughts: Grow Through It, Not Just Go Through It

If you and your spouse are in a hard season, know this: you are not alone. God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He delights in using pain to produce purpose.

Don’t waste your valley. Let it shape you. Let it strip you of self-reliance. Let it deepen your faith. And let it forge a spiritual connection between you and your spouse that the mountaintops could never have built alone.

You may not see it now, but this valley could be the very ground God uses to grow something beautiful in your marriage.